Visitation Information

Roger Donald Stokes

Passed away on December 23, 2025

Roger Donald Stokes, age 88, late of St. John, IN and formerly of Park Forest, IL and East Jordan, MI passed away on December 23, 2025. Beloved husband of the late Mary E. Stokes (nee Fretter) for 60 years. Loving father of Nancy (Fred) Curtis, Jill (Marshall) Snell and the late David Roger Stokes. Devoted grandfather of Nathan (Julia) Curtis, Nicole (John) Rioflorido, Collin (Alyssa) Curtis, Parian (Nick) Porter, Auburn Snell, and Avalon Snell. Cherished great-grandfather of Charlie, Therese, Monica, Madeline, Xavier, Maya, Agnes and Cecilia. Dear son of the late Donald and late Marguerite Stokes. Dearest brother of Carolyn (late Bill) Ashley. Fond uncle of many nieces and nephews.

Roger was born in Flint, Michigan on December 31st, New Year's Eve of 1936! He often reminded others that the whole world celebrates his birthday.  Roger grew up on a beautiful homestead family farm in East Jordan, Michigan that his family had moved to when he was 8 years old.  His mother had been born on the homestead and after moving back with her family, she would then spend the rest of her life there. The family's homestead land patent is signed by Ulysses S. Grant.  Roger and his little sister, Carolyn, played in a lovely meandering creek on the farm.  Their dad raised milk cows. 

Roger attended Michigan Technological University in Upper Peninsula Michigan. While in college, he was given the task of taking samples of the suspension cables of the Mackinac Bridge to be tested. Roger spent a year on active military duty at Fort Eustis in Virginia.  He then joined the Army Reserves to pay back his college scholarship. Roger retired from the Army Reserves after 30 years with a rank of Lieutenant Colonel.  At Michigan Tech, Roger earned a degree in Civil Engineering, and then later earned his Masters of Science and Business Administration. 

While attending college, Roger met his future wife Mary Fretter. Roger would cash his checks at the A&P grocery store where Mary worked. They were married on August 5, 1959 in Dollar Bay, Michigan.  Their wedding was six days after Roger was commissioned to Second Lieutnant. 

Roger really enjoyed traveling. Together Roger and Mary visited all 50 states in the USA. They also visited most of Canada.

 Roger completed military trips to Puerto Rico, Korea, Somalia, Panama, Honduras, and Germany. He was very proud of his church mission trips to Chile, Mexico City, Nicaragua and Honduras. Roger received an award for his part in building houses for the poor, from the director of Casas Por Cristo, Wesley Bell, who wrote:

"Roger crossed the border more times than we can count and criss-crossed the city of Juarez from one side to the other in support of these teams.  Roger also collected used doors and windows, a year's supply of lightbulbs, cut spacers at his own expense, and most importantly, has provided hardback Spanish bibles which we present to the families at the completion of each project."

Simultaneosly Roger had a 39 year career as a Civil Engineer. He worked for the Federal Highway Administration in Springfield, Illinois and Homewood, Illinois.  When Roger retired from the Homewood location, his coworkers gave him a book compiled of situations they encountered and named it 'Ask Roger.' Because if any of them had a question that was hard to figure out the answer to, they would ask Roger.

One of Roger's many talents was his ability to take something he learned in one area and reapply it somewhere else in creative and unexpected ways-from systems and procedures for rapid runway repair for the military, to extending the life of paved surfaces in desert conditions.  Roger received medals for some of his many clever innovations.

Roger enjoyed being a church deacon and singing bass in the choir. Roger loved having fun with his family. With his wife Mary, Roger took care of their special needs son David. He played on hockey teams, bowling teams, and visited the Grand Ole Opry. 

Roger is well known for his love of telling stories.  He had many stories of his life growing up on the farm, military stories, the most snow he ever saw, the hottest and coldest extreme weather temperatures he had endured, stories of his many travels and his first jobs-such as the story of the summer he was ten years old, picked pie cherries, and earned enough money to buy a shotgun.

A loving Daddy and Grandpa, Roger was wheelbarrow rides, Paul Bunyan stories, the hum of the highway, camping trips, mountain drives, backyard sandboxes and ice skating rinks, a planter of trees, whisker rubs, handmade bunk beds, weekend paint splattered t-shirt and sawdust covered pants, his 'monkey suit' he wore for Army Reserve duty, homework helper, there when you need him, love and laughter, with a strong will to serve the Lord and give a helping hand to others. 

To understand Roger is to go back to the farm.  To the little boy that grew, ran, played and worked there.  Learning from the land and the animals around the homestead,  his parents and grandparents, Roger gained a strong sense of independence, determination and standing up for oneself.  Also of importance to Roger was family togetherness and the strength of cherishing past, present and future generations.

Visitation Sunday, January 4, 2026, from 1-6 p.m. and on Monday, January 5, 2026, from 9:00 a.m. until time of funeral services at 10:00 a.m. at the Elmwood Funeral Chapel 11300 West 97th Lane (1/2 block west of U. S. 41 / Wicker Ave. at 97th Lane) St. John, IN 46373. Minister Bill Lyons, officiating. Interment Skyline Memorial Park & Crematory Monee, IL. 219-365-3474. www.elmwoodchapel.com.